Finding Yourself Beyond Fear and Resistance

ResistanceBy Abby Bordner

Have you ever noticed that when you dream about something or make a goal in your life, there’s a little (or sometimes BIG) defeating voice in your head that says, “You can’t do it.” or “You’re too old for that!” or “You’ll never follow through.” Or other thoughts that say you’re not capable, not good enough or not deserving enough to accomplish your goal?

This is your ego speaking, the part of your brain that doesn’t like change. It comes from fear, insecurity and resistance. This voice can banter at you so much that you start to believe these thoughts. Do these negative thoughts keep you from taking risks, pursuing dreams or accomplishing your goals? Some people become paralyzed by negative thinking, it holds you back and it creates your beliefs about yourself and your abilities.

I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to believe these stories! There is a more powerful confidence that comes from deeper in your being. Your Best Self is the part of you that feels strong, connected and alive. You know that surge of positive energy that creates excitement and motivation when you are really focusing on something important in your life. When you are Your Best Self, you are hopeful, creative and free. This is your center. This is God in your life, bringing out your strengths, your power and your drive to create a better life for you and the ones you love.

What would Your Best Self say to you about dreams, aspirations and change? You can do it! You’re on the right track! Yes, there is a better life waiting for you when you move toward your desires. The act of pursuing your dreams makes you a more positive, courageous person.

Try to imagine those negative thoughts as a small child who is scared of change. You’re the caretaker of your thoughts. You can breathe deep and soothe your ego by saying, “I know it’s scary to try something new. I will take care of you.” And continue to move toward your visions. Your dreams for yourself are worth following!

Notice resistance. It pops up at various times during the day. Awareness can be so powerful. Just remember that the voice of resistance is not your True Voice. It’s not Your Best Self. You don’t have to cave to this voice of fear. Just be aware of it and keep moving forward. Don’t let it become an excuse to give up. Don’t let it keep you from being Your Best Self.

Here are some things you can do when negative thinking is getting in your way:

  • Use a journal to write down your visions, dreams and goals. Write down why they are important to you and how you imagine your life will be once you accomplish them.
  • Take deep breaths. Bring your awareness to your breathing and visualize a strong, powerful center inside you that can overcome obstacles and find solutions.
  • Get outside! Nature has an amazing ability to regulate your brain, calm your nervous system and clear your mind.
  • Do something you love. Spend time with friends, family and your partner. Surround yourself with positive people who believe in you.
  • Start to get more information about your goals. Find books, websites and people that have accomplished the things you desire. Learn from them. Educate yourself and make a plan to move forward, step by step.
  • Remember that these negative thoughts will not create positive change in your life. Even if they feel true, you have the power and desire to become something different. They may have been true in the past, but it doesn’t dictate your future.

I work with people every day to overcome resistance; positive people who are living a meaningful life have learned to manage their own negative thinking. You can, too!

“The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state Being. It is a state of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically, is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond your thoughts.” Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

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Leave A Reply (2 comments so far)


  1. Brandy Sullivan
    2 years ago

    Abby, thanks for this wonderful reminder. I’m in the middle of really big changes and I needed this today! You’re a true inspiration.


    • Abby Bordner
      2 years ago

      Oh Brandy I’m so glad this message was helpful for you today! I appreciate your comment. Hope you’re doing well.